by Rick London

Self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. I know you probably are going to go back and read that first sentence to make sure I worded it properly.

A lot of people think that one has to be either born with self-esteem, or maybe was popular in high-school and held onto that for the rest of their lives, always succeeding at whatever due to public support. The truth is, nothing could be further from the truth.

Usually, it is the opposite of what we think the dynamics are of self-esteem. The gorgeous blonde in elementary school with the long pony tail, who maybe relied totally on looks for self-esteem grows up, has a few kids, gains weight, hair falls out and the rest turns gray from dealing with the hyper children and maybe a workaholic husband and she sits at home now and watches soap operas and drinks a bit too much, remembering the good old days when life was simpler.

Much is expected of children of successful and/or famous parents. One thinks this may give them a “free ride” onto the high self-esteem track when it usually does just the opposite. In fact, many rebel and get into destructive habits to find their own voice, and never grow out of it. No self-esteem found here

So basically, self-esteem can (and will) do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem hashas been compromised for a reason outside of your control. You become fearful of life. You become isolated and scared to try new things. It becomes a viscious cycle. But, self-esteem can be learned for the first time, or for the second time in a different way. Adult self-esteem is not the same as a child’s and not always gotten in the same fashion.

Maybe you were the star athelete and wore the right clothes, made applauded every time you through a touchdown pass. You kept your grades up and you got consistent positive feedback. This helped your esteem. That is often how we get it early in life. But it is no longer that way in adulthood. Later in life, you landed a high paying marketing job and you hate it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her group of friends. And took your self-esteem with them, while you stayed home and drank beer and watched the game on television.

The simple fact is, that in adulthood, we have to create our own self-esteem. We do not necessarily receive all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. We can’t do it in a day, and there is no one path in which to build it.

It may mean, on a day you are feeling lowest, you pick yourself up and go to a soup kitchen and volunteer. Maybe a nursing home and visit with the elderly. Tutor a kid with his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Maybe it’s physics. Maybe its the way the universe operates. But it works for many.

The battle with low-self esteem can last a lifetime. Some never win. If one tries just a little, they usually do win. One day, not long ago, I looked up and I was turning fifty and had a major heart attack so I was becominging more aware of my mortality. Me? A major coronary? That was what other people had, not me. My ego loves me to think I’m so unique. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus’ book in ‘What About Bob?’, baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. I volunteer to help the elderly and shut-ins learn the Internet and a few have even enrolled in universities in their 60’s and 70’s.

It is an interesting experience, to experience higher self-esteem, especially when one never had it. I fall into that category. I take it slow and easy. I enjoy the learning process. It has nothing to do with money or fame. It has to do with knowing me, and, finally, learning to like me, and maybe even love me, so I can love others.

Many people have had it much rougher than me. I have endured much in my life including homelessness, and I am certain there are many others who have even meaner stories, so if I can do it, anyone can. I just take a little time out of each day and do something positive, or create something, work on one of my projects, write a story like this one, to build my self-esteem. I may miss the mark some of the time, but I try to learn to do it right the next time, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone else, or both, for no pay, even if they insist.

I’m a slow learner, but in ten years, I’ve accomplished a thousand times more than I did in my first forty-three years.

I created the largest cartoon site o the Internet which makes people feel good. I then launched nine gift stores; LTSuperstore, RickLondonCollection, Justfunnygreetingcards,Justfunnycoffeemugs, Justfunnyaprons, Mirthgirthbirth, RickLondonwear, Justfunnymousepads, Justfunnyhoodies, etc. Surfers stop at my stores and often order either for themselves or a friend or family member. Laughter is a great self-esteem builder and is quite bonding.

Being around humor makes us feel “lighter”. It is human nature to want to laugh. We should laugh. Laughter, like crying, are both very important releases. And they both put us in touch with our feelings. And our feelings put us in touch with who we are. And when we know who we are, we have our self-esteem.

So, as I said, self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. Build some today. Baby steps.

About the Author:

Cartoonist Rick London battled depression and low self-esteem for years. He has since taken a path to feeling better about oneself. He makes others laugh with his cartoon merchandise stores and Top Internet Offbeat Cartoons Easy Self-Esteem: Even If You’ve Never Had It