by Rick London

I received an email from a woman I know last week. She considered me a happy person. It surprised me. I don’t consider myself particularly sad or pessimistic, just not what one deems happy. I’m simple. Maybe that is what she meant. She gave me ten seconds to reply.

As a kid, the medical community considered me dysthymic and without much motivation. Actually, that was a symptom of my boredom, and didn’t have a lot to do with my brain chemistry. I had a relatively high IQ in (Mississippi) in their public schools, and very little could attract my attention; except when girls started wearing shorter skirts.

As in Kafka’s memorable opening line in Anna Karinina “All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. We had our own way of being unhappy. And if someone tried to change that status quo it was considered “making waves”. Victim mentality was a good thing. People felt sympathy. It was also a very unhealthy thing, fueled with a good bit of dysfunction. But I feel grateful to have experienced it and moved on, learned from it, and possibly won’t repeat it.

Our founding fathers even understood the importance of hapiness and penned it in the Constitution of our country “…and the pursuit of happiness”. They could have said it differently, like “and the right to be happy”. But being happy is not a right. Nor is being sad. A right speaks of an action that will bring us to a new place. And that action is, as our founding fathers knew, pursuing happiness, not just sitting down and being happy. It is not against the law to do that, it is simply not living in reality and they knew it, so they wrote a little instruction manual (in The Constitution) on the importance of that pursuit.

“To thine own self be true”, said William Shakespeare. That statement alone showed how far ahead of his time he was, long before psychiatry and antidepressants ever existed, custom designed for those who had never been true to themselves. Shakespeare knew, being true to oneself, is a key element in being happier. I didn’t say happy, though it could result in that. But I don’t know a person who is true to him or herself who is not at least a bit cheerful. I may have even taken the phrase way to literally. I still think about it daily as decisions have to be made.

With this in mind, let’s count how many ways we compromise our happiness, or make certain it does not happen. We take jobs which are terrible but pay well. We do not like our co-workers and they do not like us. We do not like our boss and he does not like us either. We get married and have kids out of peer pressure. All our friends and associates did it, but we were not ready, or the opposite. We decided not to get married as we grew up in an unhappy home, and we would “show our parents with sweet revenge” (That was my modus operandi for many years). Suddenly it occurred to me they didn’t care what I did as long as I was in the pursuit of happiness. Besides, they were deceased. Or we spend too much on credit to impress someone or a lot of people and then feel the pressure as the bills come.

We learn some mighty lessons from these “failures of adulthood” and I do not say that judgementally. I am no different than anyone else in this arena. I have changed careers many times (put on new masks) until I found the one that fit me. It worked and I am much happier. I didn’t say happy. I dont know if I am or not. But I am usually optomistic.

“It’s a process, Doc!”, explaimed gangster Robert DeNiro to Billy Crystal in the hilarious movie “Analyze That”. He was talking about recovery from a bad childhood (Crystal was the psychiatrist who ended up getting more help from DeNiro). It is a movie worth seeing, not just because of the great comedy, but because of the analogies they represent regardingreal life and painful growth and change.

When I simplify my life and make myself healthier, I make myself available to more emotionally available people. That part is my responsibility. I cannot ask the universe to do it for me. It won’t. I have to do the legwork. It is fine to pray if you are a believer (and I am), but whether you are or not )a believer), the legwork still has to be done.

As far as work, life is too short to do work you hate. We do not live in our parent’s generation. The opportunities are endless in the workplace. Yes, at times to find the job we really want, we may have to start at lower pay, but doing what we love attracts the kind of income that suits us.

You don’t have to be a cartoonist to be happy. It has been proven that exposing yourself to humor can help build your own self-esteem and develop your own sense of humor.

Dr. Bernie Siegel who wrote a best-seller in the 1980’s, Love, Laughter, And Healing helped me a great deal when my mother was dying of cancer. I called him. He claims in his book that he had incurable brain cancer and exposed himself to many comedy movies, videos, cartoons, and sitcoms. He had no idea if it would help heal him, he just felt his mortality and wanted to laugh a bit. Within a few years, his brain cancer was in remission and he still is alive and writing two decades later. I have discussed this with him on several occasions and he offered up some of the greatest advice I ever had, expose your mom to humor. I went to the video store daily and found a different comedy film every day and we watched it together. It also brought me closer to my mom. She lived about four years longer than they expected.

Dr. Seigel’s advice became paramount in my life and still is. It had a monumental effect on me. The only other such event was a Gary Larson Far Side exhibit at the Smithsonian in the mid-1980’s. I saw just how important humor and cartooning really is in our culture. I never knew it at the time, that I would enter the world of cartooning, but my fans and friends insist it has a calming and healing effect. That adds to my happiness.

Sharing a joke, a funny book or story, or even a cartoon gift with someone is something that will cheer them up. It has a synergistic effect and will do the same for you. I have tried it many times and it’s a sure-fire remedy for what ails you. I am not saying not to listen to professional medical advice, just saying it is a great way to add to one’s happiness, hence your own.

About the Author:

The Internet’s most popular offbeat cartoon is Londons Times www.londonstimes.us by Rick London. He also has numerous cartoon Londons Times Cartoon Gift Stores which he feels help spread joy One cartoon gift item store is Top Cartoonist Rick London Shares Ways To Become Happier