There are songs that glorify women’s big behinds and undoubtedly there are men who love, really LOVE a big butt on a woman. There are even cultures in our world who not only make women stuff fabric and pillows into their dresses to appear rounder, there now are plastic surgeons who give us permanent butt implants.

If you have a big butt and your man does drool all over himself because of it, you’re lucky! Even Jennifer Lopez tells her trainers to make sure that whatever work outs they give her, to preserve that apple-round-bottom of hers. And while this one asset of ours may be indeed bring us (or them) great pleasure, being overweight does not come with the territory.

So what if you’ve gained weight and your man is not all that pleased with your new “loafs of bred” crowning your mid section? For starters, if your g-string still has at least a one-inch visibility somewhere around your waste line, you may be okay. When it’s buried completely and neither you nor your partner can see that you’re even wearing underwear, that’s when we may need to start shedding some of those tires crowning this curvatious mid-section.

Seriously now, no matter what “they” think of us when we are in our birthday suit, it really matters what WE think of ourselves. Because depending on how we feel about ourselves is what determines how free we behave in the bedroom. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and since we are our own beholders every time we look in the mirror, and since our thoughts are creating the person we are moment to moment, it is crucial to be confident with who we are and what we look like, all the time.

Yes, our partner’s faces speak volumes, especially when they see us without clothes on. His face express Nature in action, and it’s either satisfaction or turn-off. And of course we look into his face as if we look into a mirror and thus are affected either positively or negatively.

Our beauty is fleeting (and boy is it fleeting alright!), inner beauty, however, is here to stay. Confidence and happiness are soul qualities. So let’s focus on these first, the gorgeous and sexy body that will make heads turn will follow automatically.

Here are some tips to regain your confidence.

1. No matter how unattractive you feel because of your weight, do nice things for yourself first because those things help you start feeling better about yourself. 2. Start wearing matching underwear and bra, even if no one will see it, you will know it. 3. Light a candle for yourself when you eat (by yourself) or when you take a bubble bath or just read a book. 4. Get a pedicure even if it’s winter time and no one can see it. You see it every day and that’s all that matters. 5. Let go of feelings of jealousy about skinnier women and be at peace and know that nothing can take your divine place and no one can steal your man from you if he’s truly your man.

Nothing can be stolen from you if it is meant to be yours, so the need for to be jealous of another woman is a complete waste of energy. Provided you have married the right partner you have absolutely no competition, no matter what other women look like. Your loved one will have eyes for you only, and he thinks the world of you no matter what you look like. He may hurt not because you’re overweight, but he may feel your pain of being unhappy with yourself. And how unfair it would be for us to expect him to care for us if we don’t even care for ourselves. The only thing he wants to see is a peaceful woman who is confident inside and out.

PS: If this is not your man and he does give your ultimatums to lose weight or else, let him go so he can chase after women who fit his desires better. This way you are free to work on yourself and get yourself ready for the one and only who truly deserves you.